Welcome to my blog! this is where I ramble about the things I did\think about during those times.
When it comes to growing up in an online space. I grew up to be the "Windows kid" type. one of the reasons I got into it not because I was passionate about windows or any of that. I got into it because I thought that I was the only child in the world to obsess/be fascinated about stuff like old operating systems and hardware. I used to think I was the coolest kid in the world because of it...until I was 16 years old. I remember being recommended to use deviantart to upload stuff I made in photoshop there, My deviantart is still active but I'm considering deleting it due to just how much I despise going to that platform, it's I entered a zone thats radioactive without a hazard suit. I found a BIG community that were just me, toddlers to adults who mess around with windows operating systems and such. I've seen it being VERY common with the BFDI/Object Show community to be specific. I know absolutely nothing about it so I really cannot give my opinion and prespective. though I do know that they tend to be in the lower bottom of fandom hell, I'm talking about the "dudes with a mediocre artstyle who are enthusiasts about things like classic disney cartoons, go animate, BFDI, Old Roblox, Windows,Thomas the Tank Engine, etc etc" I really hate to express negative opinions but I'm just SO glad that I dodged a bullet of me becoming one of them. they usually end up being man children or weirdos and sometimes just straight up nazis. I used to know someone who falls under the stereotype. there are moments where I do say hi to them but I just feel totally uneasy being around them since they are sorrounded by the exact same people I almost ended up becoming. thinking about it makes me nauseous for some reason. maybe because I can smell how their room smells like. ough the horror...
My institute is holding a contest about taking beautiful pictures using your phone. Everyone knows about this meme where android is shit for taking pictures and that's 100% true since thats the only con for a phone where you can basically mod the absolute crap out of it. I was told that I'm good at taking pictures on my phone but they usually complain about the quality, since it's you know, android. I've always bought myself a mid end phone usually from Samsung since they are really reliable for 2 or 3 years. While I haven't been outside taking pictures and such, I do have this picture that I took during the time I accidently went deep north. This picture could mean alot of things but I like to call it "Every house has its stories" since to me, it looks like a long time abandoned house that was ripped apart by nature and what's left of it now is just the baby bed. implying that there was once a family in there...deep!
I watched the fnaf movie on the 26th of October and I can whole heartly say that the film was worth the 8 years of me waiting for it. I've been a big fan of FNAF ever since VanossGaming uploaded the iconic "5 Minutes at freddy's" video back in 2014, which in itself the game was relatively new at the time so Theoritically I'm an OG fan you can say. While the pacing of the film felt sometimes slow sometimes fast. I did enjoy the fan service and the overall authenticity of the original games' aesthetic and vibe. I can garuantee that people will look at the film 10 years from now and go "ngl this was a solid video game film" 7.5/10
Ok so it's not called college, but an institute. The past weeks have been quite lonely now that most of my real life friends are studying abroad, this also applies with my parents since they're out working when I wake up and they come home when I'm at the institute. I'm studying programming and planning to be an IT/Technitian. My mother says that I can get a job with a Diploma degree but I'm going to push to a Bachelor degree in hopes of getting my chance to study outside the country. most of my friends are in the UK/Irelands but I'm thinking of studying in the US in hopes of meeting friends and partner. Since my autism peaks when it comes to computers, I've spent most of my first week just dabbling and cappling with the computer and messing around with it. The web design teacher lets me edit my website when we are doing the basic HTML coding. though I think it's really weird that I'm being taught how to use GOD DAMN PHOTOSHOP 7.0!and not something like GIMP or the newest build of PS. Heck, most of the computers arent even activated to begin with!
Recently decided to use Etsy since I was told it got alot of good fan related things to buy, I've ordered this little guy which came with this cute letter that had an image of the plush with a cake. I'm not really a plush type guy, it's not in my autism spectrum like most of my friends but I really like how comfortable he is to hold, he's round enough to be held like a l4d2 gnome and has enough texture for me to fidget with. aside from the plush, my dreams have gotten extremely weird and vivid now adays that yesterday I woke up in general confusion and I was like "what the fuck". it had religion, naked susie, flashing lights, purple hills and amen break samples. I wrote what I could remember into my friends DMs to explain it to him and he hasnt replied back, I assume because he was also as confused as I am.
I've been thinking about my general interests as a whole and I've felt really out of place to be honest with you. "My interests are so niche they end up conflicting each other" is a sentence that I've been using frequently to describe my interests in Media, Video Games, Movies, Books, etc. When I tried to get into communities of those said interests. it gets complicated for me to stay due to my other interests not really clicking with the place. if X community finds out I like Y, I'd get in trouble. and so on. Never seen a jabroni liking a robloxian and never seen a yakuza liking a davey. It really intrigues me how "out of place" I truely feel on the internet. or maybe I'm just autistic.
I'd like to apologize for the lack of activity in my website. Many things was happening throughout the end of august and beginning of september. college hasn't began yet but I mostly spent my time outside with my friends exploring the country. most of my friends will be studying abroad throughout the world so I took it as an oppertunity to take almost a full spin and explore the country throughout the week. We first went north, known to be the greenest side of the country. "green" it is very different in comparison due to the fact that the farming industry is quite popular here and many old folks who retire tend to buy a land up north and just chill there. next we went west. the most mountanous side in the country. its really empty and doesnt have much interesting to talk about other than its emptiness. kinda suprising how there hasnt been anything built there since 1961, just tents. south is more tourist like place due to saudi arabia, so going south felt like a breeze with the amount of cafes and malls and all that jazz it had. the only issue I've really had throughout my journey is that the streets are so awful to drive. I can't believe we are the most "developed middle eastern country" when our roads are literally just mario kart tracks.
HyperFixations are something thats very common to people under the spectrum. it could be based around anything from characters, people, places, objects, and all that jazz. I'm also one who gets hyperfixations from time to time. Usually I stick to the same fixations I've had throughout my life like ROBLOX, Call of Duty Zombies, Windows XP, Vinesauce, etc. though it is rather rare for me to get a new hyperfixation. one such example is that I had a fixation towards a character named Colin and how I wanted to just violentlybeat him up for simply existing and that lasted a while. other fixations that also was sudden were slendytubbies which lasted just a week, Films that featured Adam Sandler, and Windows Vista. Currently my hyperfixation is a Dave n Bambi character named Donk which I don't even know why I really like him. something about the way he looks and his basic biography fills me with joy and makes me wish I could hold him like a plushie. It's kinda suprising that despite him being an official character, he's not that well known! Says alot....
I really hate the fact that every restaurant I know of removed menus in favor of QR codes. I prefer when they give me a huge paper to look around when I'm ordering. I mean sure, "save the trees burn a book" and all but I just find it less convenient. It doesn't help with the fact that now I'm starting to see it apply on DRIVE THRUs. I went to KFC that day since I was in the mood for a chicken sandwich and I was greeted with "SCAN. ORDER. PAY." with a huge QR Code. I tried scanning it but it lead me to a blank page. I thought it was just my VPN being wack so even when I disabled it I was greeted with the white page again. I drove to the employee who was holding a notepad and I told her "The QR Code isn't working" and she looks at me like I insulted her or something. "The scanner." "The QR code" "The thing over there". No response. I just brushed it off and she took my order. I think she was absolutely mad because I said "extra LETTUCE" yet she but put 2 whole tomatoes on my chicken sandwich which explains why I felt sick that night.I HATE tomatoes.
I don't have the time to watch cartoons or shows. My dad is a movies person and watches older cartoons from his generation. He always comments about how modern cartoons are so "uneducational" and "time waster" and how the older cartoons provided actual information that would help you through your life. he says that as he unironically watches thundercats. I think it's funny but at the same time he sorta makes sense in a way? He's considered a boomer since he was born in 73 and If I got old like him and watched the modern shows in the future, I'll do the same thing too though unlike my dad, I'd sit down and actually watch the show to comment on it. he doesnt watch the new shows because when I do put something like adventure time, he'd on his phone doing mailwork. I think the reason he's been that negative about modern cartoons is prob because conservative humor and cartoon network/nick do not belong in the same catagory. do NOT get me started on my mom now!
I always saw myself as someone who chooses the 3rd path despite it not even existing. Choices make me scared and nervous since the simplest things can drastically affect your life y'know? there are alot of things that happened in my life that couldve been avoided if i chose the 3rd path instead of taking the 1st or 2nd yet here I am. it's kinda scary yknow? my throat has been bothering me alot today and I don't know why. was there something in that protein shake? I shouldve closed the bottle more tightly because the undissolved powder landed on my underwear in my bag and it looked like I spoiled myself in it. very embarrassing and hard to explain when you want to clean it at the gym so I had to just put it back in my back, wear the same gym underwear and rush back home to the washing machine. Why can't I do things properly man?!
This whole week I was at the beach house with my friends. It was chaotic and at the same time worrying. Had to drive back and forth from the beach house and my house due to some leftovers in my car that were necessary equipment for my sister. doesn't help that I had to do it AGAIN the next day, My friend needed to head home because it was an emergency. Grandma got upset over how much money I spent on fuel so she gave me 10KWD to spoil myself for dinner, but I'm on a calorie diet intake so most of the food I ate was either just coffee and doughtnut for lunch and a single meat patty for dinner. I'm really awful at eating good which suprisngly I don't eat alot but I'm still a fat fuck somehow, Metabolism is weird. We have two cats at the beach house who are owned by my uncle. Sweda and Lira , I don't know what breed they are but I assume Lira is a british shorthair(?) I'm not sure. They're cute but I have no idea how to take care of a pet so I mostly just let them wander around the house and gave them a headpat or two. most of the catwork was done by my friend who LOVES cats but can't adopt one because his mother is a no pet in this household type a person. Though I had to cleanup some puke and hair around since he accidently got them an expired meal. Youch!
I have a weird habit of hating something until I end up being a fan of it. I've disliked Sanrio at first but now I find it cute. though I absolutely hate how 99% of the time they just try to convince you to buy their products. They have ALOT of potential here but they're putting their effort on the wrong places. The past 3 or 4 days have been exhausting. I've been working on a project of mine that I can't do much with due to my friend getting overburnt out easily. We're like 75% done but I'm being patient with him since feburary I believe? I can't wait. I need to stop using technology to read the books I've bought.
Most of my time has been spent well at the gym. I don't consider myself a gymrat as people call it but I've been really enjoying my time there especially with the fact that the swimming pool has a huge TV that plays movies. Had the chance to watch the entirety of Wonder Woman while swimming. I have interest on watching a lot of movies this week since I'm trying to avoid being chronically online. I don't wanna be like Blinx. anyways, yesterday I had woke rather too late for me and that got me upset so I ended up going to the gym at 9PM and coming home at 12AM. had to ruin the grind by ordering KFC and watching Who framed Roger Rabbit, It's such a good movie WTF! I'd love to see more types of films like that.
Tim Hortons. It blew my mind because of how delicious their food are and how suprisngly cheap it is too. 3.2 KWD for just a deluxe doughnut, a steak sandwich and an iced coffee? wow! I really despise the cafe industry due to how ridicilously expensive they are and how It's better if I just make one at home instead of paying the worth of a large McDonalds meal for a coffee and a cookie. anyways. I've had a dream today that I was an anthromorphic cat and I was in the same house I'm currently living in but with wallpapers and furnitures that look very 1960s pop fashion and I had 16 children to take care of. taking some research says it could represent growth and satisfaction in life which I find reasonable since I'm pretty much glad about how my current lifestyle is. What I don't understand is why was I a cat to begin with.
Is there a term where you're a fan of something but you're literally not allowed by it's developers/community to enjoy it?. I've had that question for a while since there are few projects I'm really looking forward to has me in their "no wanted list" for dumb things that doesn't make sense. What do you mean I'm not allowed to try any of the compucolor productions projects just because I play ROBLOX? and why did that reason make me also in the blacklist of Tomb Fetus? it's such a big rabbit hole since 2019 that needs a story on its own.Hey I should write a book about it!
Spent most of my day outside, mostly walking. I was holding my steam deck in hopes of getting to actually play something but the more I hold it the more I realize that the deck is really just a gimmick. I never had the time to actually sit down and play with it due to how basically my phone just does what I need. from talking to people on discord and just to watch youtube. A friend of mine is a huge fan of dave n bambi and I made this silly idea that the game is connected with Black Ops 2 Zombies primarily due to how one of the characters "Bambi" owns a farm and a cornfield. and since Tranzit has a farm and also a cornfield, I did what a typical game theorist do and go "where was he during the events of black ops 2??!?!?!" keep in mind I don't have any interest in the game due to me being awful at rythm games. although I find the characters really neat to look at. I think.
I woke up really early today due to me habit of drinking lots of water before asleep and went back to sleep. I was bummed out that I woke up at 12pm after that. So I spent most of my time just goofing around. at 4pm My dad asked me to give our laptops to our repairman since we basically don't need them anymore. they lasted for a long time aswell! the oldest laptop we have is from 2005 and it still runs. I archived all the stuff we had into one big USB folder for reservation and went on my way. I was even lucky to come back home with this CRT Monitor! You have NO IDEA how hard it is to find CRTs here so I consider it a lucky day because of it. I hope my parents don't mind it though.
I'm not really a car person but I really loved driving my old KIA Soul car. Sadly I had to sell it to get a new car due to my parents fearing I will spend alot of money on repairment for it so it was better to get a new one. At first I refused to due to how I'm pretty much attached to it but after 6 months of convincing, I finally decided to sell it. You can tell i was taking a good care of it when the car dealership I went to offered to buy it off from me for just 3000 US dollars! insane! I now have a Chery Tiggo 4 Pro model and despite me still being attached to my old car. I love that I customize the display's wallpaper to any image I want using a USB Memory.
